Disclaimer: Disclaimer: This isn’t a full guide to manifesting, it is simply a helper article to clarify one of the most misunderstood parts of the law of attraction.
Manifesting a specific person doesn’t have to be so confusing.
I’m not going to give you the A-to-Z of manifesting a specific person here, because I could write an entire book on the topic, but I will bust 5 myths that confuse the hell out of most people. What you’re about to read will shed a lot of light on things and lift a lot of heavy confusion off your shoulders. I believe you’ll feel lighter and smarter about law of attraction when you’re done.
So let’s get to it.
MYTH 1: YOU can manifest a specific person.
Any teacher telling you that you can manifest a specific person may be right technically, but they’re being somewhat irresponsible in practice.
It’s like a basketball coach telling random students on YouTube they totally *can* be Michael Jordan.
Like, on the one hand, yes, every human has the potential to be the next Michael Jordan, but to leave it at that causes many people who aren’t meant to be pro ballers… to bang their heads against a wall.
And just like basketball, deliberate manifestation takes practice. There are expert manifestors who’ve been practicing it a long time (possibly through multiple lifetimes, if you believe we’re eternal), and there are beginner manifestors.
A responsible basketball coach wouldn’t take a bunch of people from his local nursing home and psych them up telling them they all could be the next Michael Jordan, even if technically they have that potential. Why? Because their life path almost certainly doesn’t involve such a thing, and even if it does, they’re likely ‘not ready’ to pursue Jordan-level performance.
But if the coach had a class full of NCAA players, he could responsibly encourage them to aim for Jordan-Level play.
Can you (or can’t you) manifest a specific person?
Here’s the last word on it:
Some teachers tell you “yes,” some teachers tell you “no.”
The practical answer is “sort of.”
Why sort of?
Because successful manifestation depends on certain criteria.
And adjusting those criteria takes practice.
And you may or may not be *ready* for that level of practice, and only you know if you truly are or not.
The criteria aren’t very complicated, people have been using them to realize their dreams for centuries, and you can too.
What are they?
- Strengthen Your Desire.
- Soothe Your Resistance.
- Strengthen Your Belief.
These three factors are how you leverage the law of attraction.
You have thousands of thoughts, moods, and choices that you manage daily, and you’re empowered with the ability to adjust every single one of them.
Adjusting your thoughts, moods, and choices directly raises or lowers your desire, beliefs, and resistance on any given topic. Adjusting them is how you practice the three steps of manifestation. Adjusting them is how you strengthen your desire, soothe your resistance, and strengthen your belief.
(I dig deeper into desire, resistance, and belief here.)
Practice those well and you’ll manifest well. Practice them poorly and you’ll manifest poorly.
(I dig deeper into practice here.)
It’s that simple.
Ask yourself: “Am I really god-tier self-aware? Am I really in tune with my wants so much that I know *better* than the universe which soulmate out of 8 billion humans on earth, is for me, right now, this instant?”
Doesn’t it seem a tiiiiny bit arrogant to think you can select a better mate out of our global population with obsessive laser-focus than the universe can select for you?
Perhaps ‘The One’ is a person you’re turning away from or rejecting? Perhaps your target SP’s life path will have them getting paralyzed in a car accident 6 months from now? Perhaps they don’t want to be with you because your true soulmate is waiting for you to let go of your resistance to being open to what the universe brings?
Anyway, just some questions that are worth asking yourself. Only you know what’s true for you, but what it all comes down to is less about ‘is it possible to manifest an SP’ and more about ‘is it practical for *me*, in my current lifetime, to manifest an SP?’
And a responsible teacher will emphasize that even if the former is possible, there’s a major difference between it and the latter that would be wise to consider before you proceed.
But I don’t expect my words here to magically convince any reader crushing on their SP to take a more level-headed approach, so might as well get into the second myth:
MYTH 2: You can manifest a specific person INSTANTLY!
Plenty of YouTube videos claim you can ‘INSTANTLY’ manifest your specific person. They’ll say yes, you can manifest them instantly.
It’s half-myth, half-not. Why? Because manifestation depends on certain criteria, and adjusting those criteria takes practice.
Most people aren’t great at meeting the criteria for manifestation, especially on sensitive topics like creating intimate relationships.
So you’ve gotta ask yourself, “Am I confident & practiced at manifesting behavior from other humans?” (In fact, even ask yourself “Am I confident & practiced at manifesting anything? Or am I an *accidental manifestor*?” And further, ask “Am I so confident that I could do it ‘instantly?’”
Because it’s kind of like shooting a 3-pointer in basketball.
In practice, only a small percentage of the global population will manage it reliably.
And just like any skill, the ones who succeed at it are those with a healthy, confident approach to it.
And don’t be surprised if when you first try it, all you do is ‘bounce off the rim.’ Maybe you manifest them ‘rejecting’ you, which technically, is manifesting interaction with them.
Or maybe you manifest an accidental butt-dial from them on your phone. Or whatever else.
These things can be unsatisfying for you, if what you really want is to manifest SP in your bed nightly. Bouncing off the rim can be frustrating when you’re aiming to manifest a ‘swish’ or ‘nothing but net.’
So is it possible for someone to manifest a specific person instantly?
Technically, yes, anything’s possible. But in practicality, be wise, approach manifestation properly, manage your expectations well.
Without practicing Jordan couldn’t have become a master basketball player. And without practicing you can’t manifest anything instantly, let alone the behavior of another.
If you can’t control your own behavior (ie: practicing manifesting), do you think you can control another’s behavior? And that brings us to myth number three… free will.
MYTH 3: You can control and manipulate others’ free will.
Abraham-Hicks says we all have free will, and you can’t manifest for someone else.
They say that we’re all individuated pieces of source/god/the universe, coming to earth to experience variety and contrast. So we are all one, which means you can’t harm another, without harming yourself. You can’t take away someone’s free will, without taking away your own. You can’t make someone a robot or a puppet, without doing the same to yourself, at least in essence. Because of this, asserting or manifesting into the lives of, or on behalf of, others runs counter to LOA and will not bring results.
25,000-plus people in /r/NevilleGoddardSP say two things:
A. That free will doesn’t matter because you are ‘god’ and your beliefs trump it or B. That free will doesn’t matter because EIYPO… and using LOA lets us choose a quantum reality where people are behaving as we like, *and* they continue to occupy alternate realities where they’re not.
So who is right?
(First I’ll say that Abraham-Hicks seems to be a way more credible source than the, uh, masses residing in /r/NevilleGoddardSP.)
But the answer is… both are right, and understanding why makes things so much easier.
So let’s examine each perspective.
GoddardSP’s first take, that “faith trumps free will” is weird because…
That would mean on Monday, Melissa could manifest Vince to love her. Then on Tuesday, if Vince leveled up his faith in divorce, his faith could trump Melissa’s free will, making *her* leave him. Then on Wednesday Samantha could “out-faith” both of them, trumping both of their free wills and forcing them into a threesome.
This doesn’t seem like a well-designed universe (or law), but if you believe it, perhaps you can make the world work that way for you. 😉
GoddardSP’s second take holds that “you’re constantly living infinite possibilities at once” in a giant web of invisible universes… a ‘multiverse’… but they’re fuzzy and outside of your awareness.
So for example, there’s a universe where Melissa stayed with Vince, and a universe where Melissa left Vince, and a universe where Samantha had a triad with both of them.
So GoddardSP says you simply choose to focus on what you want… and that possibility literally ‘comes into focus’ as a certainty in your current reality.
Basically, you train your mind to “jump” between universes getting whatever results you want, meanwhile everyone else is doing the same thing too. So if you ‘make’ someone date you, don’t feel guilty over it because there’s another universe where you didn’t do that for *them* to experience.
This basically means you’re not part of a collective of 8 billion other free-willed beings.
Instead you’re a single, solitary person in a VR headset, programming everyone to do exactly what you want with your mind.
In this case, you technically could end war, poverty, hunger, and more single-handedly, as easy as changing channels to a different universe where that has happened.
Note: Humans do not truly understand if the multiverse even exists. It’s a *theory* (“educated guess that could totally be wrong”) based on data from quantum physics.
Abe’s take is much more practical for most people. They say to make peace with the fact that *we all agreed to come to planet earth for contrast…* and part of that contrast is 8 billion free-willed others able to make their own choices. They can choose war if they want, they can choose poverty if they want, they can choose to mate with someone else if they want, and no one can take that power of choice away from them…
…just as no one can take your power of choice away from you.
How we navigate this web of interacting beings is what makes us better humans, not how much we’re able to control or manipulate others. That said, Abe also says one connected to source is more powerful than millions of others, and that when you align your beliefs with your desires while having no resistance, your power of influence is massive and can often, and reliably, summon behavior from others that would suit you. Abe does say it’s possible to get exes back, or attract strangers from afar, etc… but in Abe’s case, it is NOT guaranteed, because others still retain their free will.
Here’s my take on it:
Even if GoddardSP’s multiverse approach is technically correct, in practice, it would require Jesus-level manifestation-mastery to use reliably. Are you gonna be the next Jesus here? Is it really practical for you to use this multiverse theory to control other human beings? Do you honestly see yourself eliminating war or overriding people’s free will as easy as changing the channel? Be honest.
So, while that may be doable for a handful of humans on earth, it’s much more practical to use Abe’s take on things. It’s better to ‘get’ that one of our greatest powers as humans is the power to think, feel, and choose as we want, and since we’re all connected, removing that power from someone else would remove it from yourself as well. This boils down to…
…Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.
Stop trying to control individual, free-willed humans, the same way you wouldn’t want someone pulling your strings.
So many people I see obsessing over ‘controlling’ someone else. It’s getting to be a bit much, no? I mean, it’s kind of over-the-top, imho.
Speaking of which ‘obsessing’ over something can sometimes bring results, so I’m not totally against it, but the vast majority of obsessive thinkers tend to make things worse.
So it’s time to address myth four.
MYTH 4: You have to think about (or let go of) your SP.
The truth? Well, you’ve probably sensed a theme here… the truth is you do both.
If you’ve got a desire for love, connection, or intimacy, you literally can’t “let go” of it.
Go ahead, try it.
It’ll come back in a year, or two, or ten, because all you can do with desires is ignore them or suppress them. You can never let go of them. If you have a desire for food, air, water, human touch, etc… those desires aren’t going away. If you have a desire for freedom, security, or wealth, those aren’t going away. Your desires can’t be ‘let go’ of.
Want an example?
So a few days ago, you desired food. You were hungry, and the longer your food was held away from you, the stronger your desire got. So like all desires, you wanted to manifest a reality where you were eating. Some people in developing countries have a much harder time manifesting food, but it can still be done. Some people dehydrating in a desert miraculously survive on cactus juice and insects. Food can be manifested to sate your desire.
But in any case of manifesting something to sate a food desire… did the person have to “let go” of their desire in order to manifest?
No, in fact, I bet in each case food was thought about quite a lot.
But they did have to let go of sulking in a corner. They did have to let go of temper tantrums and belief that it’s not possible.
But they would never be able to ‘let go’ of the desire for food, because once a desire is born within us, it’s meant to be fulfilled sooner or later (across multiple lifetimes if you believe we’re eternal). This is law.
I repeat, you literally can’t let go of a desire.
But you can let go of resistance. You can let go of bitterness, resentment, doubt, guilt, blame, worry, anxiety, and frustration around your desire.
So should you think about your SP every day?
Thinking is like plugging electricity into a wall socket.
Not thinking about something at all is like plugging in nothing. It creates no power, no spark.
Thinking about something in general such as the thought “Love, connection, and intimacy are coming closer to me soon,” is like adding a bit of juice or plugging in a low-voltage device. This is an easy manifestation step for beginners and *usually* doesn’t trigger resistance.
Thinking about something slightly specific, such as “the universe is bringing me a loving, powerful, pretty-faced partner who makes me proud… or even someone better than I imagine,” is plugging in medium-voltage to the wall socket. This is an intermediate manifestation step that can trigger resistance in a lot of LOA beginners.
Thinking something very specific, such as “I’m mind-controlling this one specific celebrity out of 8 billion people on earth… who happens to live in my town to text me today,” is plugging in insane-voltage into the wall socket and not only will it trigger crazy resistance for most people, it’ll also cause a manifestation ‘short-circuit, explosion, and electrical-fire.’ There’s no rule that says you can’t get really hyper-specific, but it’s for expert manifestors only who are confident and practiced on whatever topic they’re aiming to manifest.
The same goes for frequency of thought. If a computer isn’t plugged-in long enough to boot up and work, you get no results. But if a computer is plugged in too long, especially in summer, it’ll overheat and explode, losing all your work.
This explains whether you’re meant to think about your SP often, periodically, or take a break entirely.
You can tell what to do by your emotions. Are they ‘overheating’ and becoming negative about your SP? Then curb the thinking. Or are your emotions high-vibing and joyous about your SP? Then think more.
To summarize, you never let go of your desire (in essence), but you can and should let go of resistance, and it’s often helpful to let go of specifics if your vibe is ‘overheating’ on the topic.
(Thinking about the general love, affection, care, sex, and happiness that you truly want is the best way approach manifestation if you’re feeling ‘crunchy’ or ‘uncomfortable’ about a certain topic or SP.)
If you’ve been following closely hopefully I’ve convinced you to relax and take a more level-headed approach to manifesting love and connection (but I don’t expect so), plus you understand the impracticality of ‘instant’ manifestation, plus you have a handle on control vs. free will, and we just dealt with ‘letting go’ together.
So if you’re good on all of that, and you’re still dead-set on attracting a specific person, the next thought tends to be: “I’m just missing the right method to manifest my SP!” Leading us right into myth number five.
MYTH 5: You can use method X or method Y to manifest your SP.
This is a myth, but like the other myths I’ve covered, there’s still something to it.
Because although methods are effective for many people…
When any LOA teacher suggests manifestation techniques they’re just giving you practical approaches that have worked for them.
They’re giving you possible ways of elevating your moods, beliefs, and desires, (or helping lower your resistances.) But no matter how great these teachers are…
…the approaches they recommend may or may not work for you. And I’d stay clear away from anyone who is saying their method is the only or best method that works to manifest.
It would be nice if there was a one-size-fits-all approach that LOA teachers could recommend for students.
It really would. It’d make everything so much simpler.
But the truth is that you’re an incredibly unique ‘blend’ of vibrational offerings on the millions of topics life holds. You have a ‘high, success vibe’ in some areas, a ‘low, struggle vibe’ in other areas, and even some ‘appallingly low blocked-vibes’ in others still.
And your energetic (or vibrational) blend changes over time.
This means that method(s) suiting you will be unique as well, and may change over time too.
So what method should you use to manifest your SP?
Well, life will ‘call’ you towards various methods, in various ways, at various times to help navigate around *your* particular hang-ups and integrate organically into your specific situation.
They’ll be methods that suit your budget, culture, economy, resources, access, beliefs, attention span, etc. And the only way such specifically tailored methods are going to show up for you…
…is the Universe guiding you to a ‘customized approach’ flawlessly crafted for you.
This is one reason why people pick up and put down various methods during their ‘life journey’ until they find their favorites. (And even then it can change.)
Maybe the universe will ‘call you’ towards Subliminals for a bit, only to quickly make you bored of them, so that you move on to meditation. Maybe the universe will have you skip Subliminals and meditation, going straight to appreciation and “positive aspects” lists. Maybe the universe will make you ‘pissed off’ at one teacher’s methods, just to nudge you towards a better teacher for you. Maybe the universe will help you invent your own method.
This is why it’s not really about which manifestation exercise is better than another, it’s about you experimenting with life, following your true impulses, guidance, and emotions, then playing with the methods that resonate most and lead you to satisfying results.
There are so many methods:
- ‘vision boards’
- ‘mind movies’
- ‘going general’
- ‘two-cup method’
- ‘releasing resistance’
- ‘lullaby mantras’
- ‘gratitude journals’
- ‘focus wheels’
- ‘positive aspects’
- ‘5×55’, etc.
It’ll make your head spin if you keep binging them all.
Stop analyzing methods like some kind of forensic examiner.
Stop debating over them like a bunch of ‘nerds’ in a debate club. Don’t just poll people and try whatever others tell you to. Instead, explore whatever methods call you. Play with them. Experiment with them properly. Give whichever methods the universe is directing you towards a ‘proper try’ and find whatever works for you.
Because ultimately, no method is necessary.
Even if you were trapped in a desert with ‘zero methods’ available, you can still manifest and use the law of attraction.
Manifestation ‘techniques’ are just helpers. You can use them if you want, but don’t get too attached to them because the one who has the power to manifest anything is you, by elevating your desire levels & belief levels while lowering your resistance levels.
So relax about ‘finding the best method’, almost any can work, but only certain ones will ‘work for *you*.’ And how do you find out which is which?
Your emotions guide you as you explore any method, if it feels good, continue it, if it doesn’t feel good, either adjust your practice of it or move on to another one. (Note: This doesn’t mean just try a method for 5 seconds then give up in frustration, that is *not* a proper experiment.)
Look deep inside yourself and tune into your emotions to see how you really feel about any particular method.
No one external can tell you what’s best for you.
Only your feelings will guide you correctly towards ‘feeling better’, which means they’re guiding you towards methods that suit you.
That said though, any ‘method’ you use while in a feeling-place of lack, or that lowers you on the emotional scale, will backfire.
So if a method isn’t joyful in the practice of it, it’s not the right one for you at that time.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t go back to those methods later, IF it feels good and right for you.
That wraps 5 Myths About Manifesting A Specific Person: Busted!
I wrote this because I’ve seen thousands of people arguing back and forth on a lot of these topics, with very little clarity emerging from the conflict, so I thought I’d cut through the noise.
I’m confident that there’s plenty of value here and a lot of takeaways to at least make your manifestation journey smoother and easier, so I hope you enjoyed it, and I appreciate you reading, commenting, sharing, and even skimming. If you have any further questions about your own specific situation, email cynshine at gmail dot com, or DM @cynshineonline. I wish you huge joy and success in manifesting fulfilling connections with others.
Note: Law Of Attraction is simple at its core but –like many skills– has a nuanced execution and takes a decent amount of time & effort to ‘get right’ for those not naturally gifted… so there’s more to it than I mentioned here. I wrote this simply because many people get confused on manifesting love and intimacy using LOA, and I felt this would help.
P.S. Want more from me on Law Of Attraction?
- Confusing Law Of Attraction Terms: Explained (Properly!)
- 3 Simple Steps To Manifest… Anything
- Why You Suck At Law Of Attraction
- Law Of Attraction: Getting Some Motherf–king Results
- Get Your Dream Body With The 3 Levels Of Law Of Attraction
- Money Manifestation Demystified!
- 4 Levels Of Belief: An Average Jo’s Approach To Law Of Attraction
- LOA: Going General Vs. Super Specific