Selling For Bimbos (Even If You Hate Selling)
Hint: You were born selling well, even if you don’t realize it.
Selling For Bimbos - Emma's Story
“Dad, ever since I ‘turned bimbo,’ no one buys my stuff!”
“I was relaxing in a rocking chair on my porch, people-watching the passerby on my street, when my daughter Emma pierced my bubble of peace with her distressed-yet-endearing whine.
“Oh, good evening to you too, miss. I’m fine, thanks for asking!” Sarcasm was definitely called for here, she knew better than to intrude on someone like this.
“Daaaad, c’mon!” She pressed on.
“C’mon what? I’ve raised you better than this. You don’t get help from others by whining or interrupting their relaxation, or by ignoring basic common courtesy.”
“Ughhh. Fine, I’m sorry. Good evening Dad, how was your day?”
“It was lovely, thanks for asking. How about yourself, did you have any trouble, say, selling today?”
“Yes! I don’t get it! When I was in the ‘normal’ modeling world, I had no problem getting scouted, getting an agent, and securing well-paid shoots, but now that I’m on my own, I have to get people to go from my Instagram over to my OnlyFans, and then get them to subscribe.”
“Wait, what’s an ‘Instagram’, and why do you have only one fan?”
“OMG, you know what these platforms are!”
“Heh heh, yes I do, I was just pulling your leg.” I said with a grin.
“Very funny. Now teach me how to sell, please.” Emma was like a dog with a bone when she wanted to learn something, and I admired her focus, even if it went a bit overboard at times.
“Fine. We can’t understand much if we don’t know ‘what’ it is.”
“Uh, I know what selling is.”
“OK, what is it?”
“Making money, duh.”
“‘Duh’, eh? Well then, so when Jehovah’s Witnesses knock on our door and try to sell us on their religion and give us free literature, they’re not selling?”
“Oh, well, I guess they are.”
“And when a CEO has a new idea for his business and he wants his team to ‘buy in’ to the vision, he’s not selling his team on the new direction?”
“Er, I guess that’s selling too.”
“So are you sure selling is ‘making money’ after all?”
“Hmm. Now I’m confused, what is selling?”
“Selling is communication that convinces others to accept your viewpoint, frame, or beliefs. Selling is influence. If you’re good at selling, you can influence the world, if you’re bad at selling, you’ll be a victim of the world, influencing nothing and no one.”
“I never really thought about it like that.”
“Well it’s true, as you saw from how you answered my earlier questions. In fact, you’ve been selling since you were a child.”
“I highly doubt that.”
“It’s true. When you cried as an infant, do you think you were selling?”
“No way.”
“Why not?”
“You were expressing. You were communicating to the people around you that it would be best if you got fed, or held, or whatever.”
“But I wasn’t selling them.”
“Did you ‘turn up’ your crying if you weren’t satisfied?”
“Well, yeah, but that’s not–”
“–Then you behaved just like a seller who ‘turns up’ scarcity, urgency, or discounts when people aren’t responding. As a toddler, did you ever instinctually ‘promise’ to do your chores or keep your room extra clean, if only we’d buy you that bike or Barbie Dreamhouse that you wanted?”
“I did, but I–”
“–Then you behaved just like a seller who ‘throws in’ extra bonuses if a customer purchases ‘now.’ As a teen did you ever send extra-cute cards to a boy when you saw another girl doing it?”
“Sure, but–”
“But nothing. You were behaving like a seller noticing the competition, and making their offer juicier and more enticing to get what you want, and I know it sounds ‘yucky’ to think about it that way, but really, supply and demand, value, and the economy are based on humans having desires, and us putting value out into the world in order to fulfill them. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
You can even use different words if ‘selling’ bothers you.”
“Like what?”
“Selling is ‘solving.’ Everyone on the planet has desires, and they have a ‘gap’ or ‘obstacles’ in-between them and their desires. You can ‘solve’ that for them. You can help them shorten the time, energy, money, or resources that it takes for them to realize it. You can help them speed past obstacles. You can help them have a more comfortable journey on the way. You can *solve* one or more of their desires for them… but only if you convince them to let you.”
“Hmm, solving…”
“Selling is ‘connecting.’ You’re selling friends, family, and co-workers on your views, frames, and beliefs all the time, even if it’s just convincing them to check out a TV show or movie. You do this by ‘connecting’ with them. You have to listen to their wants and needs, and then convince them to try your ideas or options. You are ‘selling’ them by ‘connecting’ with them.”
“Oh, connecting!”
“Selling is ‘earning.’ It’s earning people’s trust. It’s making them aware of who you are, your value, and what you bring to the table. If you know you’d make a great center position on a sports team, you need to earn that position by demonstrating that you’re a trustworthy, talented, reliable center. Again, you’re convincing and persuading others through some expression or communication of some kind to ‘buy’ your premise that you’re a great center.”
“Earning, I see…”
“Selling is ‘matching.’ If you match a rap-lover (who says they’re ‘too busy’ to hear new music) with a new rap song that they love, you’ve just ‘sold’ a rapper and secured them a new fan. If you match a booty-lover (who says there’s no new booty content out there) with a glow-in-the-dark glitter-twerker, you’ve just ‘sold’ an OnlyFans gal and secured them a new subscriber.”
“I’d never have thought of that!’
“Selling is ‘caring.’ People are all ‘suffering’, whether they admit it or not. If a person desires more warmth, they are suffering from cold. If a person desires more money, they are suffering in lack. If a person desires a broader audience, they are suffering from a lack of promotion / reach. The fact is, having any unfulfilled desire feels uncomfortable to us, and we want someone to care enough to help us solve it, and we’ll gladly ‘say yes’ or give our time, money, or attention to anyone who convinces us that they *care* to help or offer a solution. People need to feel how much you care, before they care what you have to offer.”
“Wow. I’m speechless.”
“Yeah, that’s a common response when people take their first steps to truly understand selling. Do you see how you’ve been ‘selling’ your way through life to convince others to your wants and agenda since the very beginning? And can you see how it doesn’t matter whether you call it solving, connecting, matching, earning, caring, framing, learning, listening, persuading, or whatever?”
“Yes, I do. This probably goes for other lame words too like ‘prospects’, ‘targets’, ‘follow-ups’, ‘pitching’, ‘cold-calls’ and more.”
“Correct. Don’t be put off by language. Read between the lines. Understand the principles deeper. Prospects and targets are just potential ‘fans’, ‘buyers’, or ‘subscribers.’ Follow-ups just mean ‘showing extra love’ or ‘checking in with people.’ Pitching is just ‘offering.’ Cold-calls is really just ‘outreaching to strangers.’”
“Understood.”
“Good, because you can call ‘selling’ by whatever term you want, the ultimate truth is that you had to be skilled at selling as a child in order to get anything, and you have to be good at it now as a bimbo-preneur. No ifs, ands, or buts… period.”
“Whoa. This changes everything.”
“How so?”
“Because I’ve thought so many wrong things about selling. I have butterflies in my stomach because I can tell I’m going to have to change a lot of my beliefs and my behavior and it feels overwhelming.”
“Totally understandable, but don’t worry, you’ve got to where you are in life by changing one thing at a time, bit by bit, and you’ll do the same thing to get the hang of selling. Here, I’ll walk you through it…
…Name some of your crappy selling beliefs.”
“OMG, I can see so many now that I couldn’t see before I realized we’re all natural-born sellers as kids.”
“I’m listening.”
“That I’m not a natural salesperson. That I hate selling. That selling annoys people, and they don’t wanna be sold to. That I shouldn’t try to convince people. That selling is hard & takes time. That it’s pushy, greedy, slimy, sleazy. That I need experience or credibility to sell. That buyers don’t like questions, persuasion, or being ‘closed.’ That only discounts work. That I’ll get rejected. I could go on and on.”
“Good lord, Emma, you believed all those things?”
Emma blushed. “I guess. I dunno. They just popped into mind once you convinced me that we’re all natural-born sellers as kids. Somewhere along the way I picked up all these beliefs about selling that have stopped me from my persuasive child-hood ways.”
“OK, well, it’s getting late, but I’ll do my best to address them quickly. In the end though, you built up these beliefs on your own over time, so it’ll be up to you to dissolve them in a similar way.”
“Got it.”
“Well we already covered the first one, yes? You understand that we’re all natural sellers and have done it millions of times in our lives, yes?”
“Yes. And I also realized that ‘I hate selling’ is not a correct belief either. As a kid I loved convincing you and Mom to get me toys or let me stay up late. I was ‘selling’ you in different ways with love and passion. I clearly need to reclaim my love for it.”
“Excellent. So we’ll start with…
‘Selling annoys people.’”
“We established that everyone has desires, and everyone is suffering or uncomfortable when those desires are unfulfilled, yes?”
“Yes.”
“So if someone comes along and offers them something that is at least vaguely likely to solve that discomfort, are people going to be annoyed? If someone is cold, and another offers them a blanket, a heater, or a sweater, are they going to be annoyed?”
“Maybe some people.”
“Sure, jerks will, but only jerks. Anyone else will either love you for offering it, or politely decline. A polite person says ‘Thanks for the offer, but I’d just prefer to fly somewhere tropical right now.’ Point of fact, selling annoys no one. People love being sold to. People are suffering and are hungry for someone to come along and take care of their needs, and they will happily pay, reward, and praise anyone who has the courage to offer. In fact, the reason we’re having this conversation is because you had a desire to sell more, and you were suffering with poor sales, and I have communicated that I am wise and trustworthy and often have solutions to offer. You wanted to be sold-to so badly, and I’ve communicated a lot of credibility to you over the years, that you sought me out. This chat is the result of a really long sales process.”
“Hey, you’re right. I do like being sold too, and I’m never mean when I decline someone’s offer.”
“Exactly. You’re not annoyed that selling exists on planet earth, or that someone dared intrude on your inbox. You get that you have desires, and you get that it’d be nice if an ad spoke to you or an offer reached you that actually helped, and others out there will be the same.”
“Unless they’re assholes.”
“Language!”
“Sorry…” Emma sighed. “‘Jerks.’”
“Hmph. Next…
…’we shouldn’t try to convince people.’”
“Yeah, it just feels wrong somehow.”
“Really?! I feel like what we’ve said so far covers this, no? Are you saying you shouldn’t have tried to sell your Mom and I on a later bedtime? If you didn’t you might still be getting sent to bed at 7pm. Are you saying you shouldn’t have convinced us to let you get into modeling? You actually made a career of it and we all benefitted. Thirsty guys are out there ‘suffering’ a lack of feminine energy, lack of connection, lack of… er… fantasy, and are you saying you shouldn’t convince them that you have something that may help them?”
Emma giggled musically at my discomfort. “No, you’re right, it’s healthy, productive, and smart to convince them. It’s caring to convince them, if I have something that will ease their suffering and help them on their ‘desire-journey.’”
“Good. Next…
…That ‘selling is hard & takes time.’”
“Yeah, like that it’ll eat up my day, or be a grind.”
“Em… does modeling take hard work & time?”
“Yes.”
“So since ‘modeling takes time’, you should hate it and avoid it, just like selling, right?”
“Well no, but–”
“Ah, ah, does moving to a new home take hard work & time?”
“Yes, but–”
“And does doing taxes take hard work & time?”
Emma gave up trying to object, slumped her shoulders and said, “Yeah…”
“So since ‘doing taxes’ takes time, you should hate it and avoid it, just like selling, right?”
“Hah, actually I do.”
I growled at her deliberate obtuseness. “Not helpful, Emma. You know you’ll pay dearly for avoiding taxes. Because it must get done eventually, whether by you or an accountant, and the more you delay it, the more you’re penalized. You have to pay interest, you have way more receipts to deal with, it gets harder and more costly. Delaying key activities of life only punishes you and makes your life harder. It never, ever, helps. So the people in the world who are able to embrace things like doing taxes, who realize it’s importance, and realize that jumping on them early with eagerness makes their life smoother and easier… thrive well, even if all they do is hire a good accountant ASAP. People who avoid doing essential things just suffer in misery, yes?”
“Dang. That’s true. And your point is that selling is essential, and is one of those things that must be embraced with eagerness, regardless of how much time it takes.”
“Bingo. So are you really going to succeed as an entrepreneur with the belief that ‘selling is a time-consuming grind’, hmm?”
“I guess not.”
“Well, I can’t change a belief for you. That’s something you have to reach deep into your heart and decide to do for yourself, because you’re the one who chose to believe in the first place. All I can do is lay out the situation as clearly as possible, so you can make an informed decision. So, what was the next belief in your list? There were so many I can’t even remember.” I stuck my tongue out at Emma.
“That ‘selling is pushy, greedy, slimy, sleazy.’”
“Ah, yes, that’s a common belief. Hopefully from what we’ve covered already you can see how selling is caring, connecting, and solving. Hopefully you can see that selling is natural and necessary to every human who communicates anything to anyone. Hopefully this is one belief I can skip, as you’ve already changed it, yes?”
“I’m not sure. I think so. It’s just that my mind is full of Hollywood movie scenes where selling is greedy. Glengarry, Glen Ross, Boiler Room, Wolf Of Wallstreet, etc.”
“Then you haven’t changed your belief. Changing a belief is like a light switch, it’s either ‘on’, or ‘off’, there’s no ‘halfway.’ I’ve laid everything out as plainly as possible for you. It’s completely logical that selling is a literal blessing to the world, to the economy, and the only way anyone helps anyone else is by ‘selling’ them on an idea, viewpoint, service, product, or content.
There do exist certain ‘pushy’ or ‘greedy’ ways of selling, but it’s completely illogical to believe that the simple act of communicating persuasively to another automatically makes you greedy or pushy by default. All I can do is make as much sense as possible, and from there it’s up to you to change your belief. If you want to go through your whole career clinging to the belief that selling = greed, you’re in for a poor, absolutely miserable time.
Also, there’s plenty of positive, healthy selling going on in the world, so I’d ignore Hollywood’s examples if I were you. In fact, I’ll send you a clip of Mr. Rogers doing a beautiful sales job to a stubborn, hard-ass prospect.”
“Whoa, you don’t have to get so heavy about it.”
“I really do, because I’m sitting in my rocking chair watching my own child throw her career away because of a single foolish, easily changeable belief. I know almost everyone would rather cling to familiar, comfortable beliefs, rather than try new, unfamiliar ones on for size, but I expect better from you, Em.
I thought I raised you better than this. I thought you could see clearly, think sensibly, and choose beliefs that empower you to succeed in life, especially when they’re served up to you on a silver platter.”
“People often hate selling because they feel they need to have slick pitches and clever tag-lines. They don’t want to use inauthentic marketing jargon to woo customers.
But look at Phil Knight, founder of Nike. Despite his hatred of selling, Knight still sold running shoes well when he first started because, as he said, ‘It wasn’t selling, [it was belief]. I believed in running. I believed that if people got out and ran a few miles every day, the world would be a better place… Belief is irresistible.’
And he’s right, selling anyone on anything is influence, and influence takes conviction. (Conviction is one level of belief. It’s the intersection of ability, experience, and emotion. It’s the cornerstone of authentic messaging and an armor-piercing bullet for selling. If you have conviction that what you’re doing is helping someone find the right product for them, and that’s all you’re doing, selling will come easily.”
“OK, ok, I get it. Selling isn’t pushy, greedy, slimy, or sleazy. I was just afraid of admitting it for some weird reason.”
“That’s better. If you continue to be open-minded we’ll tackle any other beliefs you have, and you’ll get the hang of selling fast, instead of spinning your wheels for years. Shall we?”
“Yes!”
“OK, I think next was that…
…‘Buyers don’t like questions, persuasion, or being closed.’”
“It was!”
“Well, we kind of covered this in the ‘convincing’ part of our chat. People want to be convinced. They want to be persuaded. They want to be ‘closed.’ Why? Because if no one out there persuades them to try a new solution, they’ll remain stuck, suffering, and getting the same stale life they’ve always got
People are hungry for great new products, services, and shows. People are hungry for solutions. People are hungry for improvements that make their quality of life better, save them time, money, energy, and more. People are hungry to feel something. But all they’ll get is numbness, if every seller is afraid to offer, nudge, persuade, or close them.
All they’ll get is their same zombie-like auto-pilot life, until somehow, someway, they stumble upon a product, service, or solution that is convincing enough. If it’s not yours, it’ll be someone else. A competitor who makes bank while you wonder why you’re struggling. Is that what you want?”
“No way.”
“Well that’s what you’ll get if you believe people don’t want to be ‘closed’ or persuaded. So the question is, are you going to change your belief?”
“I already have!”
“That’s my girl.”
“‘Only discounts work.’”
“Really? So everything you’ve bought in your life was on discount? You feel good when you buy stuff on discount? You like discount-fashion, discount-makeup, discount-cars?”
“Well, no, the opposite actually, I love buying brand name stuff, it makes me feel confident that I got something good. It even makes me feel ‘more special’ than some of the other girls at my shoots.” Emma blushed at her status-seeking behavior.
“As it should. If you needed surgery, would you hire a ‘discount-surgeon’ charging a thousand dollars for his surgery, or would you automatically skip them and seek out a five-thousand or ten-thousand dollar non-discounted surgeon?”
“The expensive one for sure.”
“So from what you’ve answered here, are you sure ‘only discounts work’? Do you think ‘discounts’ are the way to sell your OnlyFans content and establish yourself as a high-value creator or brand?”
“Definitely not.”
“Great, another bad belief dissolved, and what will you replace it with?”
“Discounts are not an ideal way to sell, and it’s much better to convince others of my high value through the quality of my offering, extra bonuses, unique features and benefits and so on. It’s better to raise my price if I can, so people understand that I’m the ‘high-value surgeon’ of OnlyFans, rather than some bargain-bin offering.”
“Beautiful. Last belief?”
“‘That I’ll get rejected.’”
“Oh, you will, but that’s a wonderful thing.”
“Why?”
“Some will reject you because they’re on welfare or don’t have any money right now. Some reject because they prefer skinnier Kate Moss-type bodies. Some of them want extreme fetish material. Some of them are bitter, jaded, and automatically reject any offer, no matter how good it is.
The point is, there’s about eight billion people on earth, and what you’re offering isn’t a fit for all of them. In fact, the vast majority of people aren’t a fit. Which means the vast majority of your offers should be rejected, or the world isn’t working properly, and you may be in some weird Doctor Who dimension where all offers are accepted. If you’re selling properly, you’ll be reaching plenty of people, and the vast majority of them won’t be ready or a fit for you.
Your job as a seller is to interact with enough ‘rejectors’ to discover a ‘match’ or right-fit prospect.”
“Kind of like how not every classmate in school is a fit for me, and I had to interact with a bunch of them before I found Mia?”
“Exactly. Prospecting for customers is very similar to prospecting for friends, or even boyfriends. The same thing could apply to all the guys you dated before Dylan.”
Emma scrunched her face up as she spoke. “Yeah, and since I dumped his sorry butt, it applies to him too.”
“Yes, well, I was trying to avoid bringing up that traumatic time, but I still wanted to make my point.” I chuckled and ruffled Emma’s hair. “Regardless, do you understand how believing all those terrible things about selling shoots your business in the foot? And do you see how replacing them with more positive, supportive, encouraging beliefs about selling sets you free to get out there and really help your fans?”
“I do, I do! I’ve gone from dreading selling, to feeling psyched to get started selling… but… like… where do I start?”
“Oh my sweet child, walking you through different types of sales (and sales processes) would take us another hour. I love you but I promised your mom I’d spend some time with her before it gets too late.”
“How about tomorrow?”
“Well, I have a pretty full day tomorrow…”
“What if I sweeten the deal by offering to bake you my patented Rocky-Road Cheesecake?”
“Ok, hard to pass up an offer like that. I’ll meet you here on the porch tomorrow after classes.”
“Hooray! I get to learn more sales magic!”
“Yes, and did you notice how you kept persuading me to give you my time by addressing my objections and making the deal more enticing?”
“Oh yeah, that was on purpose!”
“See? You’re a natural saleswoman.”
***
The next day, I was sitting on the porch sipping a lemonade when Emma came bounding up our driveway and perched on the bench next to me.
“Dad! I’m ready to learn how to sell!”
“Emma! What did I just tell you about common courtesy and how to greet people?”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, do better. That kind of behavior is what gives sellers a bad name.”
“What? I wasn’t selling.”
“You were trying to ‘get’ something from me. My time, my knowledge, my expertise.”
“Ok, yes but–”
“And how did you go about it? By caring about me? By being valuable to me? By helping me with my afternoon relaxation? By taking time to see how I’m doing and inquire about my day? No! You did it by barging onto the porch and promoting *your* agenda for what *you* want. It’s just like spammers who say ‘click here to buy my stuff’ or whatever. Extremely pushy, aggressive, sleazy selling that shows minimal care for the prospect.
I may have been happy to part with my time and give you my expertise if only you had approached gently with more patience, and really cared about me, my mood, my situation, and my life, instead of seeking only to gain for yourself.”
“Dad, I’m sorry, you know I get really excited sometimes. I’ll be better, promise.”
“Well, that’s something you can think about on your own, because now I’m going rock-climbing.”
“What? You can’t! You promised to teach me how to sell!”
“And you promised to be more respectful of others, so it looks like we’re birds of a feather. There are consequences in life, Em, and the consequences here are that you don’t get to learn selling from me right now.” I got up, and headed off to Boulderz, leaving a stunned Emma in my wake.
***
Things were tense in the Brown household for the next few days, until Emma joined me at the breakfast table and decided to apologize.
“Hey Dad, I don’t want to disturb your newspaper reading, but I was wondering if you have a moment for me to apologize.”
“Yes, but Em, it’s not–”
“–Great, but please let me finish. I know you’ll say it’s ‘not about apologizing,’ but I just feel like it’s the right thing to do. I know I’ve had trouble containing my excitement and being considerate of others situations when I’m focused on something, and I intend to change that. If you’ll give me another chance, I’ll show you that I can do better.”
“Apology accepted, and I like how you approached this conversation, so that’s already an improvement. You may have just ‘sold’ me on giving you another chance, and on continuing our lesson.”
“Oh em gee! Yassssss! I’m the queen– er– I mean–” Em took a huge breath “I’m not expecting anything, especially not right this instant, because I know you have your own thoughts and feelings, but if you *are* open to continuing our lesson, I’ll happily work around your schedule, thank you for even considering it.”
I honestly couldn’t believe this was the same girl from yesterday. It was nice to see and feel actual, real, tangible change in her conduct. Emma was really growing, and not just in sales, but in character. I felt inspired.
“Now works for me if it works for you.”
Emma’s smile lit up the room, “I’d love that! Yay! Where do we start?”
“The traditional sales process.”
“Which is?”
“OK I’ll replace it with a more fun one shortly, but here’s how the sales process is usually (boringly) described:
- Prospecting
- Qualification
- Approach / Research
- Presentation / Pitch
- Handling Objections
- Closing
- Follow-up / Nurturing
Way too business-y, right?”
“Kinda, yeah, but if it helps me make money, I’m into it. I do want to ‘close sales’ or whatever people say”
“Oh, because selling’s all about making money?”
“No, no, it’s about helping people, solving problems, and persuading them for their own benefit, I just meant I’d love to do it successfully, and that can often be measured by money changing hands, right?”
I laughed, “Good save. But you can google it if you want to know more about it. For now, I’m going to skip that boring process in favor of one that’s a bit more palatable, current, and broad.”
“What is it?”
“It’s called: ‘Know, Like, Trust.’”
“Oh, I’ve heard that mentioned before.”
“Yeah, it’s a common cliche in the sales world, and most (but not all) entrepreneurs worth their salt are familiar with it. Some expand it to something closer to: Know, Like, Trust, Believe, Care, Relevance. It popped up in a time when customers had to rely almost entirely on ‘trust’ to make buying decisions.”
“Does it still apply today?”
“Well, people can’t buy if they don’t ‘know’ your offer exists, so ‘knowing’ still definitely applies.”
“Makes sense, and I rarely see anyone buy from someone they don’t ‘like’, so I imagine ‘like’ still applies too.”
“Spot on, my dear. Same goes for trust, belief, care, and relevance. So yes, they still apply, but maybe not with the same importance or in the same way as in the past. In the past, buyers often had to rely on ‘trust’ they felt from the seller, but in our hyper-digital age, many people simply rely on the trust of other customers, testimonials, and reviews.
These are all heavily relied upon forms of trust that come more indirectly from the seller, and more directly from the public.”
“OK, well, no one’s ever taught me how to make strangers know, like, and trust me. Let alone believe in me, care about what I’m offering, or see its relevance.”
“I propose that you’re great at all those things, since you’ve been doing them since you were a kid, you just haven’t made yourself aware of what you’re doing or how you’re going about it.”
“Hmmm. That’s news to me, how have I done these things?”
“Think about it. When you started your OnlyFans and had zero subs, did anyone ‘know’ about it?”
“No!”
“And how did you get your first few subscribers?”
“I just messaged people and told them about it, posted it on other platforms, stuff like that.”
“Exactly. That’s outreach, promotion, marketing, exposure. It’s the basics of getting eyeballs on whatever your product, service, brand, or offering is.”
“I guess I am able to handle the ‘know’ part of the sales process.”
“Indeed. But how long did you keep that up? Outreach was clearly working for you, increasing the people who ‘know’ about your offering, so did you continue doing this thing that works, or did you abandon it?”
“Oh.”
“Yes?”
“I abandoned it.”
“So basically, you abandoned the first, most important, vital step of selling anything… making the other 8 billion people on earth aware that it even exists, yes?”
“Yeah…awkward.”
“That’s fine, many entrepreneurs do this because of the limiting-beliefs we talked about earlier. They simply don’t realize how important it is to embrace outreach and offer-awareness, and they do everything they can to avoid it. The question is, with everything you’ve learned, are you going to commit to making other humans aware of your offer, or are you going to come up with excuses to delay or avoid it?”
“I’ve already decided, I’m committing to it.” Emma typed something into her phone, but I barreled on.
“Good. And you’ve also handled the ‘like’ part before too, and you did it with pride.”
“How did I make people like me?”
“Well, once people knew that your OnlyFans existed, did you just sit there silently, praying they’d subscribe?”
“No, I posted content.”
“Right. You gave freely of your time and energy to post content. Did you post just any content? Random cat videos?”
“Of course not, I posted stuff I thought my followers would like. Funny memes, daring photos, y’know, thot-stuff.”
“What-stuff now?”
“Thot.”
“Thought?”
“Tee Aych Oh Tee. Thot. It stands for ‘That Ho Over There’, and it basically means slutty content or bimbo content or whatever.”
I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. “No Dad should ever have to learn these things.”
Emma laughed and rolled her eyes. “What-ev-er Dad. The point is, I posted fire content.”
“Right, because now that people knew you, you wanted to give them content and offerings that they ‘liked’ and so they began to associate ‘you’ with ‘likable’ stuff.”
“That’s cray. I guess I did get them to like me.”
“Sure, but again, did you keep that up?”
“No, I ran out of ideas, and it took a lot of work, and it felt like no one was listening.”
“So basically, you didn’t believe it would work, or that it was an effective part of the sales process, or that it was worth the effort, and your crappy beliefs caused you to give up.”
“Um… I wouldn’t say it like that, but pretty much.”
“Mmhmm, and that’s you getting the first sales step done, and the second one done, and then stopping. Does this seem like a reasonable, wise, effective approach to selling? Is this kind of behavior going to make you a rich hyperfemme?”
“No it won’t.”
“Agreed, and you may be noticing a pattern here. For example, have you ever gotten anyone to trust your content, offerings, and personality enough that they subscribed?”
“Sure, I’ve had a few subs.”
“Well do you think someone who was suspicious of you, who didn’t trust your content would be what they wanted, would actually click that subscribe button and part with their cash?”
“That’d be silly if they did.”
“Indeed, so how did you get them to trust you enough to buy?”
“I have no idea.”
“Just like the last two examples, I believe you do, you just haven’t taken the time to dig into it properly. Think, have you ever paid money to a subscription service the instant you become aware of it, the instant you ‘know’ about it?”
“Nope.”
“And have you ever paid money to a subscription service the instant you ‘like’ a piece of their content or they seem reasonable to you?”
“Still no.”
“Exactly. You only pay money to a subscription service when you trust that they’re going to be a worthwhile blessing in your life. You only do it when you’ve had quite a few interactions with them, heard quite a few things about them, seen quite a few of their posts, tried quite a few of their offerings, right?”
“True.”
“So you sub when you’ve had enough high-value interactions –or ‘touchpoints’– to make an offer ‘trust-worthy’ in your mind?”
“Yes, that’s when I sub.”
“And that requires the brand to engage in quite a few interactions with you, yes?”
“One hundred percent.”
“So did you sustain a practice of having multiple high-value interactions with more and more strangers, in order to sell your OnlyFans?”
Emma put her head in her hands. “Nooooooo. Ugh.”
“I’m sorry m’dear, but this is selling. This is how you convinced us to get you your Barbie Dreamhouse. You made us aware of it. You promised to do extra chores, made us like you. Then you were patient, demonstrating through chore after chore how good a job you’d do.
You surprised us by going the extra mile. And after each interaction, we trusted you more and more, and eventually we felt inspired to splurge and get it for you. Masterful know-like-trust selling, sure, but then you abandoned it when selling your OnlyFans.”
“I totally did. I gotta fix this. Selling for bimbos still feels hard af.”
“It ‘feels’ that way, but it’s not. Many beginner entrepreneurs stumble in selling, but it’s the core activity of business. I call it the sacred business cycle. Your biz needs ‘food’ to grow. It’s a cycle of stocking the business’s ‘fridge’ with edible food (prospects), feeding the biz leads (warming up the food), and converting *some percentage* of those into meals (paying clients.) Then as the fridge gets empty… start again and repeat the cycle.
Most bimbos have trouble with their funding because they broke this simple-yet-sacred cycle.
Just like if you stopped stocking your fridge, your child would starve. Or if you stopped feeding your child, your child would starve. Or if your child stopped eating/digesting, your child would starve.
Your business is your baby.
Nurturing it to grow is way easier than most people realize. Most problems stem from screwing up this vital, essential, simple cycle. It’s just a few key steps that must be prioritized…
Selling is as simple as riding a bike or baking a cake.”
“That’s epic. And what you’ve taught me so far does seem pretty simple, but is selling really that easy?”
“If you take a step back and take an honest look at the entire history of the economy… yes. Business-people all over the world have ‘sold’ successfully and joyfully for centuries. People of all IQs, ethnicities, ages, backgrounds, and abilities have ‘sold’ well. It’s far easier to do than people make it sound. It’s similar to losing weight. Losing weight is hardly complicated. It’s not even very difficult.
Anyone your age or older already knows how to lose weight –exercise, adjust food intake, be disciplined and committed about it– but most are unwilling to actually do it. Most will say ‘I don’t know how to lose weight’ when they 100% already know. Most will come up with excuses not to do it properly. Most will avoid it… until they have a heart-attack and get their, uh, stuff together.
Same goes for selling. Are you going to avoid it until you’re broke and homeless? Or are you going to admit it’s simple, and commit to crushing it?”
“I’ll commit to selling ‘til I get the hang of it.”
“Are you sure? Or are you just saying it because saying ‘I’m too scared to master selling’ sounds bad in conversation?”
“I mean it!”
“But do you really know what committing to selling means though?”
“I think so…”
“You’re saying you’re going to prioritize the activities of outreach, and continue finding creative ways to get more people to know, like, and trust you enough to subscribe. You’re saying you’re going to do whatever it takes to keep reaching prospects and turning some of them into leads, despite ‘many rejections’ being part of the process. You’re going to interact with those leads until they like and trust you, then offer persuasively, convincingly, investing heart and passion into it, even if a jerk responds poorly. You’re going to close actual sales, with actual humans, no matter how scary or uncomfortable it feels to your old beliefs.
And if you don’t get ‘em the first time, with the first offer, you’re going to follow up with other opportunities, nurturing those leads to keep them warm. You’re going to become a proud, conscious, intentional seller!”
“Yes! I already am! Or at least on my way to it.”
“Amen. Now, once you’ve committed to selling, it’s really just a matter of a) discovering your preferred selling style, and b) practicing and refining it until you’re great at it, or at least better than average.”
“What is a ‘selling style?’”
“You know how in basketball every individual is doing the same basics of dribbling the ball and moving towards the opposing net?”
“Ye-ess…”
“Would you say each player does those things in the exact same way?”
“Definitely not.”
“Would you say some favor steals and picks, while others favor dunking? Would you say some favor fancy footwork, while others favor aggressive elbows?”
“Absolutely.”
“So you see that each player has committed to the basics of basketball, and practices them well, but each player also has their own individual style that works for them. Each has their own ways of approaching certain aspects of the game.”
“Ohhh, and the same goes for the ‘game of business.’ Every entrepreneur commits to selling, but each one has their own style of going about it.”
“Smart girl. Yes.”
“How do I discover my selling style?”
“I can give some small guidance, but there’s no real shortcuts here. An entrepreneur discovering their ‘selling style’ will take experimentation to find out what works, just like a basketball player discovering whether dunks, three-pointers, or picks are most effective for them personally.”
“I’ll take any guidance I can get.”
“Well the simplest way to start is to find out whether you prefer ‘hard selling’ or ‘soft selling.’”
“What are those?”
“Soft-selling is mainly an indirect sales technique focused on building a reputation and rapport with customers first, and gently selling them after that has been established. Hard-selling is a more direct approach to sales that worries less about ‘building relationships’ and focuses more on getting transactions done through aggressive sales pitches and repeated calls to action.”
“Oh, so soft-selling is what many influencers do, and hard-selling is basically Pizza coupons in my mailbox.”
“There’s some nuance to it, and people argue which style is better. Like they’ll claim one uses ‘storytelling’ more, while the other uses ‘persuasion’ more. Others talk about ‘emotional’ selling vs. ‘logical’ selling, yadda yadda, but yes, you’ve made a decent summary.
When applied to OnlyFans it’s the difference between going around Instagram, leaving nice comments and posting polls in your stories all week, and eventually offering your recently engaged followers your OnlyFans link on the weekend, and cold-DMing every thirsty guy you can find your OnlyFans link.
Both methods work, both take practice, but one will usually get better results for you personally. Some brands even start out with one form of selling and move to the other as time goes on.”
“This is good food for thought, thank you.”
“Yes, but don’t just think about it, *try* both. I can’t stress this enough. To be a good basketball player, you can’t just hear basketball players talking about different styles of dribbling or shooting… then suddenly know which one will work best for you. You can’t even find out which works best for you by ‘trying it once.’ No, what works best is discovered by committed experimentation.
For example, a company called ‘Yesware’ found their cold emails received a 30-50% response rate, which is fantastic. ‘DigitalMarketer’ on the other hand sent nearly 12,000 test emails, receiving only 125 replies, which is a 1% response rate. Results can vary highly for any technique. When it comes down to it, you better have experimented far more with different sales approaches than the average person, right?”
“Yes, just like a basketball player has experimented with different shots, stances, and so on.”
“Well said, Emma. I’ve taught all I can for now. You’ve just got to get out there and ‘put in the reps’ as they say in the gym.”
“As if you go to the gym.”
“Ah, I, uh… I meant the climbing gym.”
“As if they say that at the climbing gym.”
“Okay, you got me, they don’t, but I wanted to use a weight-training metaphor, sue me. Get out there and ‘send some routes’ or ‘flash some boulders’ just wouldn’t have the same impact.”
“How can you be so awesome and so lame at the same time? It’s unreal.”
I grinned.
***
It was a week later, and I’d barely seen hide-or-hair from Emma all week. I assumed she was immersed in the world of selling, but maybe she was just partying with Mia. I was passing my other daughter, Cassie, on the stairwell, so I figured I’d check on Emma through her.
“Hey Cass, have you seen Emma recently? She’s been a ghost all week.”
“I’ve barely seen her. I assume she’s busy chasing a new guy or whatever.”
“Alright, thanks.” It seemed as if I’d have to actually knock on Emma’s door and check on her, which I did my best to avoid doing. When I was Emma’s age, my parents tried to help me ‘feel independent’ and as if I ‘had my own space’, which I felt was one of the best gifts they gave me, so I wanted to do similarly with Emma.
That said, my parents weren’t completely hands-off, and neither am I, so when the situation called for it –like now– they’d intrude.
I knocked on Emma’s door, “Em? You there?”
I heard a sniffle and then, “Yeah.” My poor girl sounded so sad.
“May I come in?”
For some reason I held my breath waiting outside her door, and the pause felt like it stretched to infinity.
“I guess so,” Emma replied in a voice laced with defeat. I entered and found her curled up on her bed, hugging her stuffed pink unicorn, Uma.
“What’s wrong, my sweet? I haven’t seen you all week, is everything okay?”
“I’m fine, it’s just, I did everything you said to do. I tried my best to sell, and…
I didn’t make a single sale in seven whole days!”
I put my arm around her. “Aw, Em, I’m sorry to hear that. Do you want to tell me about it?”
“I spent the first couple days DM’ing guys and personally inviting them to my OnlyFans, to get them to ‘know’ me. When that didn’t get much traction, I figured I needed to get people to ‘like’ me, so I spent the next couple days posting meme after meme, but they only got a few likes here and there.
So I tried to make people trust me instead by offering free customs to anyone who asked… but only one person asked.” She burst into tears, so I hugged her tighter and gave what I felt were ‘more supportive’ cuddles.
“Do you want me to just listen, or offer solutions?”
Emma looked up at me and said, “Solutions, please.”
“Okay, but they may not be exactly what you want to hear.”
“I can handle it, I won’t get upset.”
“Here we go. First, you clearly have more bad beliefs.”
“Nuh-uh, I changed them all, like you said.”
“If you really changed your beliefs, you wouldn’t be so sad right now.”
“How come?”
“Because you’d know that rejections, dismissals, and being ignored are good things in selling. They let you know that what you’re doing isn’t working.”
“OMG, obviously, that’s why I think I’m not cut out for selling.”
“Ah, but those rejections and failures never indicate that *anyone* isn’t cut out for selling, since we’re all natural-born sellers. They exist just to help you realize it’s time to make careful, thoughtful, patient adjustments. If you really changed your beliefs, you’d never even consider that you’re ‘not cut out for selling’, since it’s part of our human DNA.
You may want to read Daniel Pink’s book ‘To Sell Is Human’, if what I’ve explained isn’t convincing enough for you, but I’d rather you just ‘get it’, believe you’re meant to sell successfully, and then we can move on. Without that belief, you’re gonna struggle hard.”
“Wow. I could’ve sworn I changed that belief.”
“Well, I wrote a whole guide on changing beliefs for my students that may help you, and I can give you that later if you want, but for now, the main thing to know is, when we change a belief, there are signs that the change ‘worked.’
1) It’s like a ‘click’ that we feel deep in our gut.
2) Our thoughts align to the new belief and we think in different ways about that topic.
3) Our emotions align to the new belief and we feel differently on that topic.
4) We get different results. If before we tried to sell and got frustrated and gave up, our new results from our new beliefs are that we try to sell, embrace failure, and calmly experiment until we get it, without ever even considering giving up. Two different beliefs about selling lead to two different results.”
“Judging by my results, thoughts, and feelings about this topic, I clearly haven’t changed my beliefs about selling correctly.”
“As I said. And it’s fine, I get it. Our minds like to convince us that we *have* changed, even when we really haven’t. Our egos have many tricks that let us off the hook from actually changing our beliefs. We often cling to old familiar beliefs despite smiling, nodding, and claiming we’ve changed.
I’ve done it, your Mom’s done it, Cassie’s done it. And we may all do it again tomorrow. That’s the game of life. That’s being human.
Reaching a certain level in life via certain beliefs, and then learning to let go of those familiar beliefs to reach for new ones. Just like in climbing, it can be scary letting go of the rock in order to reach for a new hold, but really… that’s the only way to rise.”
“That makes a lot of sense, and I don’t just want to stay at my same level. I know I’m willing to change my beliefs and approach selling differently. So here’s a few more of the beliefs running around my crazy brain:
That follow-ups are a waste of time. That excuses for failing to sell exist. That I should take prospects at their word. That I have to be aggressive to sell. That money-talk is gross. That my product ‘sells itself.’ That I’ll run out of prospects and leads. That seven days without a single sale means it’s impossible.”
“Whew. Well, as I mentioned last week, I can’t change beliefs for you. And it sounds like you have quite a few limiting ones, so you’re going to have to really think each of them through, decide if they serve you, and change them if not.”
“Can’t you help me with these beliefs too?”
“I did that before and it didn’t seem to work. I explained healthy, logical beliefs about selling and you sat on them for a week without ‘getting it’, so this time, I think it’s better if you do it, instead of me.”
“O…K…?”
“So I’ll say a terrible selling belief out loud, and you tell me the opposite. If you’re really sharp, and you’ve really thought this stuff through, and you’ve really changed your beliefs about selling, you’ll be able to demolish my bad beliefs and replace them with good ones. This way it’s your brain doing the work, and you’ll ‘own’ the new beliefs better.”
“Sounds good.”
“Ready? Here we go.”
“OK, first bad belief, ‘follow-ups are a waste of time.’”
“It takes many interactions before anyone feels comfortable accepting another’s offer, and follow-ups are key in making that happen.”
“Yes! How about that ‘excuses for failing to sell exist.’”
“We’re all natural-born sellers, selling all the time. We could do it on a desert island by ‘selling’ our ‘offer’ of walnuts to a timid squirrel. It’s on us to figure out how to communicate our offers enticingly, how often to communicate them, how frequently to repeat them, and how to handle being rejected, objected to, or ignored in a healthy way.”
“Yes! How about that ‘prospects never lie.’”
“Hmm. Well, most prospects aren’t deliberately lying to sellers, but they lie nonetheless. They’re telling little-white-lies such as: ‘I need to think it over’, ‘Now just isn’t a good time’ or ‘I have to talk to [someone] first.’ While these are sometimes true, far more often, people are actually capable of buying, they’re just scared.
A seller sometimes must ‘push’ a bit and not just accept people’s tiny lies at face-value, because it’s a seller’s job to get at the truth and help people overcome their fear and complacency, so they can upgrade their life.”
“Woo! How about that ‘you have to be aggressive to sell.’”
“We don’t have to be aggressive, but we do have to be tenacious and persistent. Effective sellers qualify targets fully. They ask hard-hitting questions to get to the truth. They don’t take what the prospect says at face value. They refuse to waste their time or their prospects’ time with people who ‘stall’ them, ‘drag out’ conversations, or put them off with ‘vague excuses’ as to why they can’t buy.
We either learn to do this, or suck at selling.”
“Bravo! How about that ‘money-talk is gross?’”
“Money is part of life. Avoiding talk about it is like avoiding talk about groceries in the fridge or what restaurant to eat at. It’s simply a symbol of value and exchange, and people won’t get much ‘solutions’ flowing into their lives unless they can talk about money with joy.”
“Yes! You could read the book ‘Happy Money’ by Ken Honda if you need a hand here, but it seems like you’ve got it. What about ‘That my product sells itself?’”
“Even super-talented Vincent Van Gogh’s creations didn’t ‘sell themselves.’ It was only when his sister-in-law passionately sold to gallery after gallery, getting rejection after rejection, that his works began picking up steam and making sales. Talent or quality alone are not nearly enough to successfully sell, just like creating the perfect basketball won’t magically win a championship. Basketball, and selling, takes daily work, embrace that or fail.”
“Go, Em, go! How about ‘that you’ll run out of prospects and leads.’”
“Well, there’s billions of people on earth, and technically they’re all prospects with varying degrees of suitability, so it’s ridiculous to think any beginner to selling would run out anytime soon.
Plus, I control whether or not I wake up and look for prospects, or if I never choose to seek new prospects at all. I control whether I engage those prospects and get them to know, like, and trust me to become leads, and finally sales. I even primarily control how many interactions or ‘touchpoints’ exist in my communication with them.”
“‘Epic’ as you and Cassie say. Last one, that ‘seven days without a single sale means it’s impossible.’”
“That’s just pessimism, victimhood, and fear talking. We’re all on earth meant to achieve our desires and to help our fellow humans achieve theirs, which means we’re all born to sell. Just like we’re all meant to walk or talk, and giving up on learning to walk, talk, or sell is silly A.F..”
“You rocked it Emma! How are you feeling about all your tears and frustrations now?”
“I feel so much better. It was silly of me to get discouraged in just seven days.”
“Yes, seven days isn’t enough to learn to walk, talk, and of course… sell. It takes practice. How many people would say you reached?”
“I dunno about ten to twenty a day?”
“What?!”
“What, is that good?”
“No! That’s embarrassing! This isn’t the 60’s with you walking door-to-door demonstrating vacuum cleaners. You have sixteen waking hours and all it takes is a few seconds to type a message or reach out to someone. What were you doing all week?”
“Uh, well, I don’t know, twenty people a day is more than I’ve ever reached out to before, it felt like a lot.”
“You’re a grown woman, Em! Would you hire an intern and pay them for an eight hour shift of sales if they only reach 10-to-20 people for you? You’re running a business. You need prospects and leads, and I already explained the vast majority won’t be a fit. If 99 out of a 100 people aren’t going to be a fit, how many do you think you should be reaching/”
“Sorry! Geez. You don’t have to be mean about it. Sheesh.”
“You’re right, I apologize. I should’ve explained the 100-For-1 Rule of the market to you. This is actually more my fault than yours.”
“What’s the ‘100-For-1 Rule?’”
“This rule states that if you want ‘one more [X],’ you’ll have to reach or interact with at least 100 [Non-X]. Why? Because we live in a big, noisy, complicated world full of 8 billion human beings.
And whatever goal you’re aiming to hit, 99 people out of 100 won’t be in a position to connect with it. Perhaps they’re a great fit, but they’re busy having lunch & forget about it. Or they’re depressed and not in a ‘mental space’ to engage with anyone. Or they’re locked out of their account right now.
Many of them will be apathetic, uninterested, or refuse to change their comfortable routines. And on, and on. When you are doing anything with other people, including selling, expect it to fail often.
Expect and plan for a ‘no.’ It’s not ‘failure’, it’s part of the rule. It’s expected. It’s meant to be part of selling. Think about it, are you ‘ready to buy’ every moment of the day?”
“Of course not.”
“Neither is anyone else. You’ve got to make peace with this, because no seller should expect to shatter the laws of the economy when first launching something ”
“I wasn’t expecting the world, but I expected like, one sale at least.”
“That’s still too much. Measure interactions at the start, not sales. So many people create, share, or offer something, then get discouraged at the response. They’ll say: ‘I only got 1 comment after 100 views! Can you believe it? Business is too hard!’ or ‘I gave away 50 free samples, and didn’t get a single customer today!’ and I’m there thinking, ‘yeah… of course that’s how it went… it’s 100-For-1, people.’”
“But what about Kim Kardashian or whoever, I want to be like them, and they break this rule all the time.”
“Oh really? Are you sure about that? Because this is a law of the market. It applies to nearly everything. Even Kim Kardashian understands and respects this rule.
Think about this: Kim has ~205 MILLION followers on Instagram. Do you know how many ‘likes’ she averages on a post? 2 million likes. Even more stunning is how many comments she gets. Care to guess? Go take a look. She averages ~10,000 comments on a post. From 205 MILLION followers. Why? The 100-For-1 Rule.”
Emma’s fingers flew across her phone, there was a moment of silence, and there her jaw dropped open. “I’m shocked. I thought for sure she broke this rule.”
“She didn’t. She embraced it. She went to hundreds of clubs and got thousands of eyeballs on her sex-tape in order to become known. So the next time you want to ‘get’ something or achieve a goal, keep the rule in mind. Because unless you’re reaching multiples of 100 people, 200 people, 300 people… you can’t expect ANY results. You don’t ‘get’ to feel down, or discouraged, or disappointed with your creation or society, unless you’re reaching hundreds, daily.”
“I guess like any ‘rule’ there are occasional exceptions?”
“There are, but I’ve never seen a ‘beginner’ be that exception, have you?”
“Nuh-uh.”
“And if you do want to be an exception, you’ll likely have to be ‘exceptional’ in other ways.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well for example, if you want to get an exceptional number of responses to your meme posts, you probably can’t be ‘just another meme-maker.’ You’ll need to be an exceptional meme-maker, n’est-ce pas?”
“I’m not Pepe Le Pew, but I get your point. So are you saying my memes suck?”
“I’m saying you’re probably a beginner at not just selling, but content too. When you post a meme, it’s a form of communication and interaction, it’s a touchpoint with your prospects and leads.”
“So what?”
“So, it’s up to you to use it well. Some people on the planet are experts at creating engaging, relatable, high-value touchpoints, others are beginners. Are you gonna keep fighting me on this, or admit you’re the latter?”
“Fine, I’m a beginner meme-maker.”
“Then you might want to study a master like Matt Bellasai from Buzzfeed (he has a course on Skillshare that’s full of value. For now though, the highest leverage thing a beginner can do to create engaging touchpoints –in my opinion— is choose a narrow niche and create ‘good hooks’ that speak to them.”
“Whoa, are you saying I’ve not chosen the right niche?”
“I can’t say, I don’t even know what niche you’re in. I’ve spent most of our convos navigating your crappy beliefs.”
“Ahem, my ex-crappy beliefs.”
“Indeed. So what is your niche?”
“Well, there’s a lot of thirsty guys out there, but not all thirsty guys are created equal. Some want the booty, some want the boobs, some want cosplays, some want nudes– OMG that rhymed!”
“Yes, and?”
“Oh sorry, and I decided to focus on my hourglass figure. So any guys who are into ‘hourglass’ or ‘the ratio’ will love me!”
“OK, so your niche is ‘hourglass’ modeling, yes?”
“Yeah.”
“Does that seem like a narrow enough target?”
“I guess?”
“This might help you decide. The narrower your niche the easier it is to sell. Selling to ‘everyone’ is basically impossible, not even Instagram or Google do that. (They don’t aim for senior citizens, they don’t aim for censorship-riddled China.) When Nike started they targeted only college track athletes, period, which is a pretty narrow niche.”
“Ah, so perhaps ‘hourglass’ isn’t narrow enough, and it’s making my selling harder?”
“I’d say so.”
“How can I narrow it down?”
“I can brainstorm many ways to narrow it down, but it’s important that your mind gets practice at this. If you’re gonna be a seller, you want to be able to narrow a niche at will, which means you want to practice brainstorming stuff like this.”
“I promise I will, but for now, can you just give some examples?”
“Sure. Edgy hourglass. Innocent hourglass. Tropical hourglass. Hourglass & politics. Depending on how, uh, how much you want to give your mother and I a heart-attack, you could go ‘hourglass pornstar’ or ‘hourglass jailbait’…”
“Ok ok, I get it. I’ll go with Canadian Hourglass.”
“Better. You may want to check out Mikayla Demaiter as she has a similar niche, ‘hockey barbie.’”
“Cool!”
“So the next question is, how much of your memes, content, offers, and communications were focused on around this niche?”
“None. Not even one.”
“Hmm. Then you weren’t speaking to your audience, were you?”
“I guess I wasn’t, no.”
“Well your audience wants to feel special, unique, and identified. They want to feel seen and heard. They need content and communication that’s targeted specifically at them to feel that way.
There’s a saying that says it’s important to ‘understand your customers’, but it’s more important for ‘customers to feel understood.’ And that often means going the extra mile to make sure they feel that way. If you’re targeting fans of Hourglass Bodies who also love Canada, you need to be wearing maple leaf bikinis, or posting jokes about nudist igloos. If your audience has unspoken thoughts like “Canadian girls are prudes”, it’s important you echo that thought in a humorous, palatable way.
Make memes, content, and offers based on resonant selling-points that engage your audience.”
“How do I know what resonates and engages my audience?”
“Well, no one understands a niche by magic. You listen. You learn. You do research. It takes time and effort. The best-devised selling points are worthless when presented to unreceptive customers. It’s miserable being a seller when it feels like you’re talking to a wall. And that’s exactly what it feels like when you’ve not learned your customer’s points of interest, secret thoughts, or the language they use. If you do learn them and use them, and turn out things like in my examples, you’ll resonate with your audience and they’ll feel connected to you, you dig?”
“Yes, I get it. And having a narrow, targeted niche does make it easier to speak to the right people.”
“And that’s not all, it helps you find your people too. You’ll know to look under Canadian hashtags, or search by geolocation, or hang out in /r/hourglass.”
“Brilliant, then I won’t run out of prospects and leads, I can keep finding them there. And even if I do, there are other places on the net where Canadian t&a-lovers gather.”
“Now you’re getting it. And once you’ve got your niche and you’re making sure your content and communication resonates with and engages them, you want to start improving your hooks, as well as giving them a taste or a sample.”
“How do I improve my hooks?”
“Practice.”
“Practice?”
“Yep. Actually, most of selling is improved by practice, but people are always looking for tips, tricks, and shortcuts. I think if people had their way, they’d shortcut everything, the entire journey of life included. They don’t want to practice and become great at dancing, they just want a button that makes them ‘instantly-flawless.’ They don’t want to practice and become strong at weight-lifting, they just want a button that makes them ‘world’s strongest.’ And most entrepreneurs don’t want to practice selling and get good at all the nuts and bolts of it, they want a button they can press that instantly generates sales. Thing is, that’s not how life works. The most amazing results everyone applauds and looks for, come through practice. If you really don’t know where to start, Google ‘headline writing’ or check out Brian Clark’s 10 Sure-Fire Headline Formulas and start practicing. Real, honest, practice. I’ve never seen someone write good hooks that resonate right out the gate. Not copywriters, not journalists, not marketers. I’ve only seen good hooks come from people who practice well, and practice often.”
“Why?”
“Because! It’s the same with almost anything in life: the more energy & focus put into a task, the better the results. A singer who ‘settles’ for their first take each time will likely produce worse results than a singer who is dedicated to rehearsing many takes. If you want a post to succeed, it often takes 20-50 ideas before the ‘right’ meme comes to light.”
“Holy. Can you give me some examples of good hooks?”
“Sure, let’s say you wanted to engage your audience with a bikini pic.”
“Pretty standard, sure.”
“Normally you’d just post it with a caption saying something like ‘rate my bikini out of 10,’ or something, yes?”
“You got it.”
“Well what if you pasted your photo into a Maple Leaf ‘frame’? Or what if your caption said ‘If this gets a thousand likes, I’ll replace the bikini with Maple Syrup.”
“Ooooh, I bet they’d love that last one. It’d probably make them share it or get their friends to like it.”
“Exactly, good hooks, see?”
“Yes, understanding good hooks feels pretty empowering, I’m actually psyched to go try this!”
“Before you do, let me give you a few more tips.”
“Dad, this is gonna overwhelm me, I won’t be able to remember it all.”
“That’s fine m’dear, it’s all about repetition and letting it sink into your unconscious. You can even make notes if you want, and I’ll be happy to go over it again if needed, but I believe you’ll retain what’s important.”
“OK, what else should I know?”
“You’ve got a niche, you’ve got good hooks, next is to…
…give people a taste or ‘demo’ of what they’re getting when they buy.”
“A taste?”
“Yeah, a sample. Like when you go to a bakery and they give you a tiny little slice of cake on a toothpick for free. Or when you get a tiny free packet of shampoo or conditioner in the mail.”
“How do I do that with my OnlyFans?”
“There’s plenty of ways. Some girls have a ‘free’ OnlyFans and a ‘paid’ one. Other girls post ‘censored’ photos on their Instagram and make it clear ‘The Full Monty’ is available on their OnlyFans. Some girls post rarely on PornHub so people can get a taste, with a bumper at the end of each video directing people to their OnlyFans for daily content.”
“Wow, you’re right, and I could probably figure out even more ways to give a ‘taste’– but now I’m wondering… how do you know all this?”
“You don’t want to know, Em.”
“Ew. You’re right, I don’t. Let’s move on.”
“Once you’ve got a well-targeted niche, you’re putting out, ah… ‘fire’… hooks, as you girls might say, and you’ve given your leads a ‘taste’…
…you’ll want to actually offer them something to purchase.
So Em, do you know how to ‘offer’ well?”
“Sure, doesn’t everyone? Just post my link, right?”
“‘Just post my link?’ Oh, honeybear, no.This is a common problem. Every entrepreneur thinks they know how to offer effectively, but they rarely do. There are people on the planet who are amazing at creating offers, like Alex Hormozi, and there are people who are terrible at it, like our neighbor who’s doing her first startup.”
“Hey, be nice to Esunta, she’s trying her best.”
“Yes, she is, but her best won’t be good enough unless she learns some of the basics I’m teaching you. According to data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, approximately 20 percent of small businesses fail within the first year. By the end of the second year, 30 percent of businesses will have failed. By the end of the fifth year, about half will have failed. And by the end of the decade, only 30 percent of businesses will remain — a 70 percent failure rate.
That means Esunta will probably fail, and most OnlyFans girls will probably fail, and you will probably fail–”
“–Hey!–”
“–UNLESS you at least get the hang of selling, which means being better than average at creating a ‘juicy offer.’”
“Please tell me how then?”
“This is a pretty in-depth topic, so I’d recommend you read Alex Hormozi’s book, ‘$100M Offers: How To Make Offers So Good People Feel Stupid Saying No’ (he gives it away nearly for free).
That said, the basics of it are creating a high-value offer, and then ‘throwing in’ so many bonuses that it feels silly not to buy. The deeper, clearer, and more passionate YOUR BELIEF in your product is communicated, and the more your audience TRUSTS YOU, the juicier the offer will feel to your fans. If your belief in your product flags for even a second, your selling ability will wither. If you fire up your belief in your product, your selling ability will blossom. It’s not ‘yes’ or ‘no’, ‘believe’ or ‘not believe,’ it’s ‘how much do you believe,’ and how well do you communicate it.
Is it honestly an ‘11 out of 10’ belief in your content? Is that communicated? Do prospects feel your fire and belief, or do they just walk away thinking ‘no big deal?’”
“Ahhh… So I’d say something like ‘You deserve the sexiest hourglass figure served up to you daily. You deserve to be proud of your nation’s beauties. You deserve a chance to talk to a fun, bubbly babe like me, live every weekend. Subscribe now and I’ll send you a custom video, tailor-made just for you.
The first five hundred to subscribe will also get to vote on which girl I collab with next. Plus, I’ll also throw in a real, physical calendar of my spiciest modeling for the first 100 subscribers, so act fast! I can proudly tell you that I’m the best spicy, Canadian-born, Hourglass-content out there. I believe you’ll decide to connect with the best today, but whatever you decide, I wish you lots of love. <3”
“Yes! That’s more like it, now we’re getting closer to a juicy offer. I will say there’s way more finesse to it using Hormozi’s methods, but you’ve definitely got a good start there. Do you think other OnlyFans girls are creating offers that are that compelling for their prospects?”
“No, most of them just post their link.”
“Exactly, and if you do what ‘most people’ do, you get ‘most people’s’ results, and 70% of ‘most people’s’ businesses fail.”
“Don’t worry, I get it, and I’ll make sure my offers are ‘juicy’, and I’ll check out that book.”
“Fantastic. Now, we’ve talked so much over the past week, and I should probably tell you about…
…tracking your outreach and marketing, how to follow-up effectively, and the like.
Unfortunately, I do have student papers to grade, so it’ll have to wait for another day.”
“I totally appreciate everything you’ve done for me and taught me so far, and I don’t wanna be greedy, but can you just talk a little bit about closing before we go?”
“Oh fine. ‘Closing’ is just overcoming people’s obstacles, objections, and excuses. They’re already eager to buy from you. They’re in front of you, hemming and hawing on the decision (or in front of your content, hemming and hawing on the decision). Closing it just helps them decide to do the thing that helps them most.”
“The decision that helps them most?”
“Yes. Most buyers are bad at making decisions. They pretend they’re amazing at making decisions, but they’re really not. Most buyers talk themselves out of their dreams constantly. Their pessimism, skepticism, and distrust are huge obstacles for them trying anything new. Their fear holds them back.
Most buyers need help, guidance, and support to make even the smallest of decisions, and so they delay & avoid any decision they can, often to their own detriment. Which means sellers need to be ‘decision-coaches.’
If you’re an entrepreneur and you have content, solutions, and services that you know will elevate and benefit your buyers lives, it’s your job to be their decision-coach. You must help buyers better their lives.
This doesn’t mean bullying them into something they don’t want and aren’t ready for, it means doing an extremely good job at convincing them to accept something that deep-down they do want and are ready for. A good seller can tell the difference, and goes the extra mile for the latter.
Your job as a seller isn’t really to get people to say ‘yes’ to your product, that’s up to them, your job is to get them to say ‘yes’ to actually making a decision. Either ‘yes, what you’re offering is worth investing in at this moment,’ or ‘no your product is not worth investing in at this moment.’ Selling is helping prospects make decisions that help themselves.
You’re basically their coach, helping them invest wisely in content & solutions that will enrich and empower them. You have to care about them. The sale has to be about them. Let me repeat that…it has to be about them, not you. If the product really isn’t right for them, it’s up for you to recognize that and not to sell to them, but that’s rare.
Ninety percent of the time, the product *is* right for them, and if you care about them, you’ll help them decide to get it.”
“How do I know the product is a fit for ninety percent of people who find me?”
“Because if a person has somehow found you in all the noise of the world or the internet, they’re practically a qualified lead already. A prude isn’t gonna find your content. A thirsty guy will. Potential buyers are closer to being a sale than you think, but most buyers puff up with ‘logic’ and ‘rational’ defenses when they encounter an offer.
They do this to scare away scam artists and predators, but it also scares away honest sellers who are really trying to help them too. That’s why it’s important you be tenacious and not be scared away just because buyers puff up and bristle. Most people want to believe you. Most people want to buy.
But their brains are on overdrive coming up with reasons to remain stuck and comfortable, avoiding anything unfamiliar or new. Their heart is telling them to invest in a better life, their brains are telling them to find the nearest Netflix and avoid making decisions.
Your job is to help their brains justify the purchase their heart wants them to make. If they could make the decision on their own, it’d be an instant-buy, you wouldn’t even need to communicate with them at all. They’re struggling to decide because they suck at deciding, and they need your help.”
“Ha ha! I just imagined all my, uh, prospects, as giant pufferfish. And wow, I never thought about closing that way.”
I brushed my hands together. “Glad to help, I feel pretty confident that you’ll be able to commit to selling, and to pull it off well now.” Em gave me a deer-in-headlights look. “What? You’re not confident? Seriously? After I gave you hours of some of the best wisdom on effective selling around?”
Emma stared at the ground. “I dunno why I’m not confident.”
I sighed. “Well it’s not from lack of knowledge or wisdom, that’s for sure.
It’s because you don’t have enough practice.”
“Practice?”
“Yep. Practice. Practice, practice, practice because true understanding rarely comes from someone explaining something. Even if a verbal (or written) explanation works briefly, it’ll fade without practice.
True understanding must be ‘internalized’ through experience. And that experience comes in the form of practice. Think about how you’ve understood, applied, and improved at any skill in life. Was that improvement solidified in you by reading manuals and getting advice?
No, it was through experience, practice. It was only by putting yourself through the trial-by-fire of practice that you gained true understanding. When you first rode a bike, you fell, failed, and cried tears of frustration. When you first learned to swim, you inhaled water, nearly drowned, and were scared to swim briefly. When you first learned to cook, you got spattered with hot grease, burned food, and ordered pizza.
The common theme for all these skills is that reading books, getting advice, and having a teacher may have been helpful… but those weren’t the main focus of mastering the skill. Because these things are all skills that take practice to learn.”
“Aren’t there some people who don’t need practice?”
“Well, think about it… When you first saw Michael Phelps swim, you understood he was way more skilled than you. When you first saw Beyoncé dance, you understood she had way more stamina than you. When you first saw Gordon Ramsay cook, you understood he was way more masterful than you.
These people are all able to get the results they want in their desired field, because they obsessively practice their skill until it’s ‘mastered.’ These people started out just like you – as children (‘blank slates’) who weren’t particularly good at their craft. They started out with a bit of advice or teaching from a parent or coach, and then dove into their skill passionately, making sure to practice until they nailed it. They braved all the mistakes, falls, and ‘fails’ and weren’t afraid to practice passionately, even as beginners. They absolutely made practice fun.
If you aren’t confident about anything in business right now, I bet the answer to that is going to be ‘practice more & better’, ‘use a more beginner approach’, or ‘apply yourself more joyfully and consistently like a good student.’ 99% of the students would have the same three problems. They practice rarely. They practice briefly. They practice poorly.
But most people don’t want to hear that stuff. They don’t want the answer to their selling-woes to be: ‘have more focused discipline, be more consistent, practice better, fail more, fail faster, skin your knees, get back on the horse, etc.’
They just want to talk to a mentor for hours and pretend they’re making progress.”
“Ok, I get it, I’ll let you go. Such a smartass.”
“Sure, but a kind, loving, fatherly smartass. And I get it, Em. I could talk for soooo long about this stuff. How ‘controversy’ is like ‘playing with fire’ and how to master it, how to refine your brand so that it filters for only qualified leads, persuasive copywriting, call-to-actions, and more.”
“I have more than enough to keep me busy.”
“You do, and you have more than enough to sell reasonably profitably. And if you need more help, you’re a big girl, you can use google, there’s tons of selling assistance just a search away.
Google Alex Hormozi, Dan Kennedy, Dale Carnegie, Mary Kay Ash, David Ogilvy, Edward Bernays, Joe Girard, Erica Feidner,Craig Clemens, Jon Benson, or anyone else you can think of. When it comes down to it, you and I both know that I don’t need to babysit you through this further.
We both know you’re okay to take off the training wheels and ‘crush’ selling on your own, right?”
“Yes, I’m ready to crush selling on my own!”
“Hooray! Go Em go! You got this. You’re now a super-seller!”
Thus ends 'selling for bimbos.'
Whew. This is called ‘selling for bimbos’, but it could also be called ‘selling for beginners.’ What I’ve written is the most comprehensive explanation of selling I’ve seen freely offered on the net, but it’s not the last word on selling.
It was just a story to help illustrate why so many bimbos have trouble profiting. It’s not a full guide, and it doesn’t address every limiting belief possible,(plus I didn’t cover copywriting, persuasion, lead-nurturing, etc.), but I love seeing budding bimbos achieve their dreams, and so I poured a lot of love into writing this. I believe you’re open-minded and creative enough to understand the examples, messages, and morals.
I believe you can apply what’s being taught here to your own life. I believe you’ll re-read it carefully in case you missed something important. Ultimately, ‘making money’ through selling has been done by millions of people for millennia, and it’s certainly your birthright to be one of them. Either way, wishing you lots of joy and success. #KeepRyzing !
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