Oooooh boy.
This could trigger some people, but I’ll do my best to handle it with care in the space I have here.
Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with race. Please avoid projecting, assuming, or jumping to any conclusions here.
Also, please remember, I didn’t make this stuff up, studies into fair-skin vs. swarthy-skin have been done.
And I know it may not apply to you or your friend-group…
…but there’s a reason “tall, dark, and handsome” or “fair-skinned maiden” is still desired, centuries after their inception.
I repeat, the most important thing to remember here, is that this concept isn’t about race.
Shade-preferences can be seen within in any particular race, across a variety of cultures.
Skin-lightening bleaching creams play a role in many African women’s lives, not necessarily because they “want to be white”, but more likely because they, and/or their potential mates, associate a lighter skin tone with increased attractiveness.
Whether this is ‘fine and likely due to biology’ or ‘deplorable and with roots in slavery’, a blend, or something else… is up to you, but it’s something to be aware of.
“Women, on average, do have lighter skin than men. This is measurable, and, evidently, universal—it appears among people in all geographic regions.“
This may be because women get pregnant.
Pregnant or lactating women have far higher vitamin D requirements. With less melanin in their skin, they’re able to synthesize more vitamin D, faster.
Whatever the case, this difference seems to have led, whether biologically or socially, to…
A lighter skin-tone compared to one’s peers being seen as one small sign of increased femininity.
A darker skin-tone compared to one’s peers being seen as one small sign of increased masculinity.
“Scientists looking into attractiveness in men and woman suggest that men from all races find fairer-skinned woman most alluring, while women are the polar opposite and favour darker, brooding men.”
We can argue that this is due to class structures historically conditioning us. We can say that since the working classes got tanned outdoors, people began to associate things with certain complexions. We can say that it’s genetic or biological. We can say it’s advertising and the media’s beauty-agenda causing it.
I’m sure debates will go on for years.
But all that aside, you may be well-served to understand that this difference in preferences between genders is more common than you might think.
“Men are subconsciously attracted to fairer-skinned icons such as Nicole Kidman or Kylie Minogue because of the skin tone’s association with innocence, purity, modesty, virginity, vulnerability and goodness.”
“Women, on the other hand, pick men with darker complexions – such as film stars Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell or Jamie Foxx – because these are associated with sex, virility, mystery, villainy and danger.”
The above quotes are taken from this article on University Of Toronto’s complexion-attractiveness study by Dr. Shyon Baumann.
Personally, I encourage everyone to love the skin they’re in, and to manifest people around them who love and support them for who they are.
But that doesn’t make this tendency to gravitate towards certain complexions go away.
You can decide if you want to be upset about it, or at peace with it. You can decide if you want to work with it or against it.
Skin-color, after all, it’s just one single aspect of all the valuable people on earth.
My Mom is a multi-generation Canadian, and my Dad was born in Bangalore, India, so my mixed heritage may fall right into this ‘stereotype’ or trend, but love is love, so who knows.
Ultimately, there are plenty of exceptions, so there’s no need to get anxious about your skin color.
For example, in Asia, pale complexions are a sign of status and desirability, for both genders. In America, tanned physiques have had a surge in desirability, for both genders.