Dom: Hey! Who said you could use my phone?
Sub: (Giggles & taps 3rd page of the dom-sub contract.)
Dom: WTF? I didn’t sign-off on that, did I?
Communication is literally the entire foundation of all relationships.
So, a written agreement helps communication because…
And before entering any relationship, isn’t it wise to know exactly what you’re getting into? In fact, most vanilla marriages would likely benefit a vanilla contract too.
Still, you don’t actually ‘need’ a contract.
But for some it’s sexy to have an excuse to discuss sexual rewards & punishments openly (and out loud) with a partner you trust.
And signing a contract isn’t about being pedantic, or trying to force someone to stay with you.
A dom sub contract is aimed at open communication and coming to an agreement, then referring back to that agreement as your relationship grows.
Are you new to bdsm, a former-vanilla type?
Or are you a bdsm expert in a TPE relationship?
Do you like lighter, more general contracts?
Or do you prefer in-depth, detailed contracts?
Unlike long-term kink-partners, where mutual trust and respect are basically a given, if you or your partner is a novice who’d like more certainty of where they stand, consider clauses like:
Veteran kinksters often have a lot of the basics covered, so the right contract for them can benefit from extra details. You may want to consider clauses like:
1. The Dominant, [insert name], will care for the submissive’s physical, emotional, mental well-being until this contract expires.
2. The submissive, [insert name], will obey The Dominant’s rules and agrees to submit to the dominant’s punishment upon breaking one.
3. This contract can’t be altered, but either party can end this contract at any time (and make a new one if desired.)
1. This agreement defines in precise terms relationship and interaction between two individuals, hereafter called the ‘submissive’ and the ‘Dominant.’ This particular contract applies to monogamous relationships only, and is entered into consensually with both parties agreeing to the conditions.
2. This agreement is intended to guide and align both parties in the relationship as long as their journey together exists, but amendments can be made if both parties agree.
3. The main intention of this contract is to please the Dominant & elevate the submissive. It’s meant to help the couple grow together emotionally, mentally, and physically as well. This document is the basis for a consensual relationship between the Dominant and the submissive with the intention of increasing health and happiness in both parties lives.
4. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera…
Now, you’re welcome to use these however you want, but we highly suggest not using them ‘as is.’
They’re meant mainly for inspiration, and they may cover more than you need, or may not cover enough, and they’re aimed to be examples to get you thinking about what to include in your own contract.
A BDSM contract can be a truly unique, special, meaningful representation of your relationship with your partner(s), and it will serve you well to put some effort into customizing yours.
Special thanks to some of the sites that inspired us: EvilMonk.org, DomSubLiving.com, BadGirlsBible.com, SubmissiveGuide.com, O.School, and BDSMContracts.org.
I’m an ex-sex-worker, ex-junkie, Mom of three… and I care about you. That’s why I’m opening my calendar to help walk you through some of these steps and to help you apply them to your specific situation.
We’ll have a quick chat where I ask you questions about your life and biz so I can understand where you’re coming from, and then I’ll offer you some custom tailored solutions that are a fit for you. If that sounds good to you, click the button below to go to my calendar and book a timeslot in you timezone.